Henry David Thoreau-back.

I have decided I can not handle civilization or people anymore. I am moving to a farm in the middle of the woods and I will have animals for friends. To prepare I purchased canvases, paint, a sketchbook, a journal, and huck finn capris. I am going to stop wearing shoes and shaving. When I get my shit sorted out I will come out of hiding rocking a new sense of self and a gnarly beard. I will be posting updates on here about my journey to self fulfillment when I'm not finding myself and all that stuff.

-XY

White Slave Trade

So, if you spend any time reading this blog, you'd know I'm on a stripper kick lately.

So naturally, since fashion is a part of this whole sha-bang, and since its occupying most of my brain, here you have it.

XX: Chanel Bra, Best Buy Video Camera, Pin Up Clothing Shoes, Dumpster Seringe, Dior Lipstick Top Shop Thigh Highs

XY: Top Man Shoe, Pant, Blazer, Big Daddy's Liquor Cristal, Urban Outfitters Belt, Sunglasses

Dripped

As of late there have been a few songs I've heard and they just make me want to be a stripper.

When I hear them I just want to strip, and I have no idea how to even begin to dance sexy, but these songs make me want to.

1. Come Around- M.I.A. & Timbaland

In a faraway land we got shit made,
RayBan shades, warheads laid
babes born in air-raids
My girls roam the Everglades,
Indian tribesman gamble spades,
Indian chicks, they get men laid.
Milk and honey smoke high-grade,
gold and diamond gems and jades,
ride up on our tanks, invade ,
blow out things to save our name and,
Mina, Rina, Tina, Sophina
bein a super Indian babe
We black market we black mane
we hit shit out when it rains
Would you come down and catch my train?
Would you run down and play this game?

2. I Want You- Kings of Leon

Home-boy's so proud, finally got the video proof

The night vision shows she was only duckin' the truth

It's heavy I know, the black eye with the gift down below

A choke and a gag, she spit up and came back for more

She said I want you, just exactly like I used to

And baby this only bringin me down

She said I want you

3. Lover I Don't Have to Love- Bright Eyes

Bad actors with bad habits

Some sad singers they just play tragic

And the phone's ringing and the van's leaving

Let's just keep touching; let's just keep... keep singing...

I want a lover I don't have to love

I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk

Where's the kid with the chemicals?

I've got a hunger and I can't seem to get full

I need some meaning I can memorize

The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

4. Criminal- Fiona Apple

Oh help me but don't tell me to deny it

I've got to cleanse myself of all these lies 'till I'm good enough for him

I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high so I'm begging you

Before it ends just tell me where to begin

What I need is a good defense

'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal

And I need to be redeemed

To the one I've sinned against

Because he's all I ever knew of love

XX

be safe

Thanks Bro

“You know that when the bottom of the screen burns through that you’re just smoking aluminum foil.”

“You’re welcome teeth!”

“Yeah, thanks for all ya do for me! Here’s this!”

Travis reaches in the drawer and pulls out a new sheet of aluminum foil. Then we go on to argue about how how my facebook drama is so much better than his. But wait no his is better. Whatever faggot. We make a new screen for the bowl and head to the back porch.

We both sit, I make Travis check the bench for bugs as I always do. I won't sit if I think there are spiderwebs. He waves his arms around in the space where I'll be sitting, I call him my Shaman because it looks like he's blessing it. We get comfortable and then realize the lighter and cigarettes are both inside. Oh the struggle. Travis looks up at the night sky and gives a thumbs up,

"Thanks bro! Thanks for that!" I laugh cause I'm stoned and because it's ironic.

"Don't you just feel that way sometimes though, like every time that happens I just wanna be like, you thought I forgot you were there! But nope! There you are again! Throwin' me cute little curve balls!"

"Every time something bad happens, its just like a little cute punch on the shoulder from the big man upstairs. Like, oh! You're good, this guy! This guy right up there! He's a jokester!"

"It's like God's up there goin' Hey Girl! Every time."

XX

7213

Oh this is from a while ago, how I miss it:

“Well do you like beans?” Travis found a new tool to open beans with. “Oh. Oh my god I just got beaned. I just got beaned in the eye.” Its come to this. We’re so poor that we have run out of popcorn. I’ve never been so poor that I literally had only a can of beans left and was starving. Its such a cliché fuck you from god. Hit me again god.

Tonight has been more or less useless. We spent all day trying to figure out who we were going to hang out with and what we were going to do tonight and we ended up sitting in the living room in our underwear, I was making a list of reasons I’m going to hell and then Xtina came over and smoked a few bowls. Then she left. Then I drew pictures of naked people throwing up and bleeding and now we’re eating beans. At least sex and the city is on.

Sorry kid, I'm outing you.

"Son, dreams are a great thing to have but when they’re all you have you don’t have shit”. It’s hard out there for a dreamer these days. I realized the hard way, when you go too long with your head in the clouds you miss what’s right in front of you and eventually reality hits you head on.

Next thing I know everything around me is in pieces. Someone’s screaming at me. This is obviously my fault so I’ll take full responsibility. But is it my fault? I wasn’t paying attention. I got distracted. Maybe you weren’t paying attention either. Maybe this is all your fault. No, that can’t be right. All you are is mad at me and all I am is wondering what the fuck just happened. Maybe I caused this? Did I cause all of this?

Its times like these I wish I believed in god. Then maybe I could say things like “it’s all going to be okay this is part of his plan” or “God will help me through this”. It must be nice to have an undying trust in someone. I can’t even do that with a person I can physically touch and see. How do people put it in someone who they don’t even know exists?

I’ve heard god lives inside you. But if that’s true, maybe he is you? Maybe all you really need is faith in yourself and your ability to persevere and come out on top. I don’t think I’ll ever have that. I’ve also heard that god has a plan for me. I sure as hell wish I knew my plan. It seems like all I have are back up plans anymore.

XY