Burning Brassieres

I've decided to become a Women's Rights Activist after watching King of the Hill the other day.

It was an episode in which Hank wins a contest from a can of Alamo beer, and he and the other men from the Alley go to Louisiana. In Louisiana Bill reunites with his long lost family only to find out that he is one of the last remaining Dauterive's and thus the only one that can carry on their name. So the lady's are all up ons. However, this led me to think. Why the hell are men given the legacy? I don't want some jack ass male carrying on my family name. In the event that I am ever married and have children, I will keep my last name, and my children will get my last name. And I am going to drive it into their brains that they will not be taking their future husbands names. That the women in my family will be the ones that make the legacy, they will pass the name on. (I'll also probably be getting my last name changed to McQueen, or Love since no Dever ever did the world much good. And since Dever is just tacky and gross). Long story short, I'm interested and invested now. I want to learn all I can about women's rights and sufferage and gender equality. I'm going to be sharing what I learn with you lovely readers, (all three of you!) in a weekly blog segment called "Burning Brassieres." You can purchase the Brassiere shown above from TopShop as well. All I've learned thus far about the Women's Liberation Movement is that it began in the early 18th century and that its mostly about womens suffrage, right to vote, and so on. Stay tuned for more feminist fun.

Thin is In

“Tory I have the funniest story ever to tell you.”

“Go on.”

“So I was watching Sarah Silverman the other day at my Grandma’s and it was probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. It reminded me of you”

“Go on.”

“She was talking about the word nigger and how it’s her favorite word to use. And you use that word probably more than anyone I’ve ever met. And then she was talking about her black boyfriend and said ‘I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.’”

Laughter ensues.

“Then she went onto talking about the starving Ethiopian kids on TV and was like, ‘I know I see those commercials with the little kids with flies all over them. Their stomach’s all puffed out, it’s really terrible. Geez, kids two three years old, six months pregnant, and I always want to send them money…I’m just afraid they’ll spend it on drugs.”

More laughter.

“Then she said the best line, which I think is just going to be our new personal mantra. She goes ‘I don’t care if you think I’m racist, I just want you to think I’m thin.”

Incredible amounts of laughter.

_______________________________________________________

I wanna see Hummel I wanna see Hummel I wanna see Hummel!

As we walked into Hamburger Mary’s I wasn’t sure what to expect, Travis and I had only been there one other time before and we talked to a crazy black man. He wasn’t there tonight.

I couldn’t hear him but the guy at the front door was waving his glowy bracelet in our faces. So naturally, that probably meant he wanted to see our I.D.’s or something.

Then I was stabbed in the eyes with knives seven times. Just kidding. I just saw the Chihuahua gogo dancer in a tiny little red banana hammock that said life guard on it running around. Gross.

We were there for the drag show that a few of our friends were in, Lexi Love who I swear on my grave looks just like Megan Fox, Maci from teen mom, and Ashley Hoff, and every other girl I’ve ever seen apparently. And Hummel, also known as Miss Carriage. My personal favorite person on this earth. It was his birthday. However whilst trying to enjoy the performance, and tip the ladies a huge blob kept flopping in the way. And this huge blob had about four friends. And they were loud and they were annoying and the Chihuahua was running back and fourth in different colored thongs being all tiny and creepy and orange.

Then I looked to my left and of course, another huge fat blob was there. But that’s a whole other can of worms.

I looked at travis, and the huge negro elephant in front of me and back at travis and travis looked at me and the huge negro elephants three friends and back at me

“I can’t tell if I’m being thin or not right now.”

Via Facebook

12:12pm Me

I was not being thin yesterday at work

I was being quite the latter.

this big black bitch came in and took a fucking lifetime when it was like 8:56 and we close at 9

and she had a baby

and guess what its fucking name was

12:13pmTravis

what?

12:13pm Me

well

my manager asked and she said dineiro!

and my manager was like awwwwww

like robert dineiro?

and she said NO, LIKE MONEY

HIS NAME IS DINERO

LIKE MONEY

ERRYBADY SAYS LIKE ROBERT AND ITS NOT

IS LIKE MONEY.

2:36pm Me

ok well can you get a ride to krogers or something that would be key

but i can come get you.

i need to get off here i've been sitting with a facemask on for like 30 minutes and it said not to go over 10

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