Mood Board Monday: Home Maker Booty Shaker

My theme for this weeks mood board is "Homemaker Booty Shaker"

I figured I'd continue on the February theme of "Independent Woman That Don't Need No Man" but geared more towards being happy where you are. Take pride in yourself and the place you live in. Being the perfect Suzy Homemaker certainly doesn't require a nuclear family with all the bells and whistles (though if you've found yours don't be afraid to own it), it's about creating the perfect atmosphere for yourself, wherever you may be. 

Since I graduated high school, due to one circumstance or another, I've had to uproot myself and move about every 3-5 months. When you're a college student that's bound to happen considering the weird "waiting for the rest of your life to hurry up and get here" limbo thing we find ourselves in. Sometimes it's hard to feel comfortable in the place you live, and that makes being creative or productive seem a lot more like a chore. So this week's scroll of inspiration is themed on motivating you to be a Suzy Homemaker wherever you find yourself. Sometimes it can be as simple as keeping Christmas lights up all year long. The white ones, above your creepy mattress on the ground cause you can't afford a real bed yet. When you realize the whimsy is in yourself, and not the room service, you can find a million ways to turn the place you are, into the place you want to be.

Clean & Classy Home Decor

Pastel Housewife Outfits

Heart Shaped Sinks

Mermaid Bed

Fairy Pin Up Hair

Cuties with Booties

Feeling Retro

Cleaning/Dancing in Your Underwear

Healthy Homemade Treats

Scandalous Yet Lady Like

Cute Little Dresses

Daisy Doily Everything 

Cacti and House Paint

Tea Parties

Perfect Closets

Tiny Cactus Babies

Sassy House Plants

Hips that Don't Lie

How To Not Be A "Psycho Hose Beast" On Valentines Day

I was debating whether or not to make this post all week, when in a fit of destiny I found myself being quite the Psycho Hose Beast last night. Everyone knows that this thing we call Valentines Day has the potential of turning even the sweetest lady into a hormonal fit of rage and vengeance, but I vote nay, I vote by all means we try to suppress our beastery and allow ourselves to enjoy all the hearts and affectionate goo. If for no other reason than it's  a lot better than watching movies and crying into your ice cream all night.  

Part I: What is a Psycho Hose Beast?

We've all seen Wayne's World and if you haven't you should. Stacy is referred to by Wayne as a Psycho Hose Beast because 

Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne. 
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago. 
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it? 
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

In short, a Psycho Hose Beast is someone whose feminine insanity gets the best of them and in turn makes them act psychotic, clingy, and vengeful. Valentines Day does this to many of us. It may involve running up to your ex with a present, a knife and/or machete, or random acts of violence on innocent strangers. 

Part II: What to do about it.

Step 1: Know Your Feelings

When these overwhelming emotions of sadness, loneliness, or anger come over us it's easy to blame it on so and so or fucking Halmark and love and the gods but really it's probably displaced emotions of all the crap going on in your life. Daddy issues are a clear example of this: displaced feelings about your father that lead to you dating an asshole. It happens! But if you know what you're feeling, and who you should be feeling it towards you are much much less likely to make an ass out of yourself. 

Step 2: Allow Yourself To Feel Them (within reasonable limits)

It's important to know what you're feeling in life, and it's important to feel it. So whatever it is your feeling don't bottle it up, get that shit out. As long as it doesn't harm yourself or those around you I encourage you to go crazy. Myself as an example: I really enjoy throwing things when I'm mad. Things I've learned: Don't throw your phone. Burn shit, break shit, paint a wall about it just get it out and get on with your life.

Step 3: Reward Yourself For Being Insane

If you have the skill and rationality to fight off your inner Hose Beast, you deserve a reward. You can take a tip from Cher on this one, (Don't try to date a gay guy on Valentines Day) DO send yourself flowers, buy yourself chocolate, take yourself shopping. I like to spend three hours in a bubble bath with wine and a book to reward myself for not being a bitch. 

Step Four: Remember It Sucks For Everyone

It's not just the single ladies that have a shitty day this time of year. It's anyone that expects the fact that it's Valentines Day to suddenly make their life filled with meaningful companionship that has a shitty day. Couples all over the world have to both work today, and are both mad at each other for it! Some couples can't be together because of war, illness, and a bunch of really sad stuff. Worst case scenario: no one's screwed you over, dying, or sick, and you're just single! So quit bitching and go out and enjoy your life!

Valentines That Will Make You Spit Out Whatever You're Drinking

In good Valentines Day preparation I've assembled my top picks of hilarious Valentines. 

as always I encourage you to print - cut - & share

Monday Inspiration : Independent Woman That Don't Need No Man

So, inspiration is great and all but these days we kind of get mind fucked in my opinion. Instagram, pinterest, tumblr, you have plenty of inspiration. Screaming at you from every screen and speaker. How about do something with it? The internet is a beautiful tool, but it's not real. It's an escape to most, which doesn't provoke much of a call to action once you put your phone down or close your laptop. So yeah, they say print is dead or whatever but screw that. Print that shit out, cut it up, and narrow your focus for ten minutes. Why do you like that? What's actually inspiring about that? What goals or ambitions or good joojoos can you derive from all this aesthetic pleasure? Something can be said for all that arts and crafts teen girl tearing up magazine bullshit; you're not just scrolling or hitting reblog. You're organizing your thoughts. So make something pretty (or ugly) and straighten your shit out. 

Here's a specially selected scroll of photos, to put everyone in the Independent Woman That Don't Need No Man attitude which I thought would be especially relevant with Valentines Day being this week. I'm not saying don't embrace Valentines Day because it's one of my personal favorite holidays (strictly for heart shaped things and candy) alls I'm sayin is be confident in yourself. Male or female who gives a fuck if someone gives you flowers on a certain day if you give yourself flowers every other day of the week. Ya feel me?