"Everyone thinks my life is so glamorous, but really I'm just the middle piece in a human centipede. Takin' shit and givin' shit all day long."

thats not really a picture from the movie. It's just a really cool picture Trav found.

Movie Review: The Human Centipede

This film is strictly for people with a strong stomach. I'm not terribly annoying during scary movies usually. And typically I can stomach most gore. But this was just beyond. Thats the only way I can put it, beyond. Maybe it was the chicken bacon ranch tortada I had previous to viewing. Maybe it's because I had just gotten done walking around Maifest drunk, maybe it was a mix of all three.

The movie starts out like bad porn. You pretty much can tell that nothing in the beginning matters in the slightest, its just setting up the plot for the real scary shit. Like porn, where they pretend that something important is going to happen in this film besides sex. It's like, oh well we're going to rush through the "oh we're going on a road trip through Europe and got stuck on a random road because our car broke down" bit just to get to the disturbing footage.

After the two girls mouths get sewn onto an asshole though, the acting really improves! For real though, once you get into the fruit of the movie things really start picking up. Or maybe the cranberry and vodkas were picking up. Either way. The whole gist of the story, is 3 helpless victims become captives of "Dr. Heiter" Who is a German surgeon that specializes in separating Siamese twins. Which can only lead me to believe that the creators actually wanted the movie to have some substance. Considering the allusion to Hitler and the tests done on twins in the holocaust. Go you, whatever. Dr. Heiter wants to connect the three people atm. which stands for ass to mouth. He takes out their knee caps so they can't stand up, he cuts off their lips and pulls out their teeth, and he sews their mouths to the other ones asshole. So the front piece eats, shits into the middle piece's mouth, the middle piece digests the shit and shits it into the end pieces mouth and the end piece digests the digested shit and shits it again.

GROSSSSS.

Verdict: this movie really fucked me up. It remains to be the only movie in the history of my life to ever actually make me vomit.

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