Burning Brassieres

I've decided to become a Women's Rights Activist after watching King of the Hill the other day.

It was an episode in which Hank wins a contest from a can of Alamo beer, and he and the other men from the Alley go to Louisiana. In Louisiana Bill reunites with his long lost family only to find out that he is one of the last remaining Dauterive's and thus the only one that can carry on their name. So the lady's are all up ons. However, this led me to think. Why the hell are men given the legacy? I don't want some jack ass male carrying on my family name. In the event that I am ever married and have children, I will keep my last name, and my children will get my last name. And I am going to drive it into their brains that they will not be taking their future husbands names. That the women in my family will be the ones that make the legacy, they will pass the name on. (I'll also probably be getting my last name changed to McQueen, or Love since no Dever ever did the world much good. And since Dever is just tacky and gross). Long story short, I'm interested and invested now. I want to learn all I can about women's rights and sufferage and gender equality. I'm going to be sharing what I learn with you lovely readers, (all three of you!) in a weekly blog segment called "Burning Brassieres." You can purchase the Brassiere shown above from TopShop as well. All I've learned thus far about the Women's Liberation Movement is that it began in the early 18th century and that its mostly about womens suffrage, right to vote, and so on. Stay tuned for more feminist fun.

Thin is In

“Tory I have the funniest story ever to tell you.”

“Go on.”

“So I was watching Sarah Silverman the other day at my Grandma’s and it was probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. It reminded me of you”

“Go on.”

“She was talking about the word nigger and how it’s her favorite word to use. And you use that word probably more than anyone I’ve ever met. And then she was talking about her black boyfriend and said ‘I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.’”

Laughter ensues.

“Then she went onto talking about the starving Ethiopian kids on TV and was like, ‘I know I see those commercials with the little kids with flies all over them. Their stomach’s all puffed out, it’s really terrible. Geez, kids two three years old, six months pregnant, and I always want to send them money…I’m just afraid they’ll spend it on drugs.”

More laughter.

“Then she said the best line, which I think is just going to be our new personal mantra. She goes ‘I don’t care if you think I’m racist, I just want you to think I’m thin.”

Incredible amounts of laughter.

_______________________________________________________

I wanna see Hummel I wanna see Hummel I wanna see Hummel!

As we walked into Hamburger Mary’s I wasn’t sure what to expect, Travis and I had only been there one other time before and we talked to a crazy black man. He wasn’t there tonight.

I couldn’t hear him but the guy at the front door was waving his glowy bracelet in our faces. So naturally, that probably meant he wanted to see our I.D.’s or something.

Then I was stabbed in the eyes with knives seven times. Just kidding. I just saw the Chihuahua gogo dancer in a tiny little red banana hammock that said life guard on it running around. Gross.

We were there for the drag show that a few of our friends were in, Lexi Love who I swear on my grave looks just like Megan Fox, Maci from teen mom, and Ashley Hoff, and every other girl I’ve ever seen apparently. And Hummel, also known as Miss Carriage. My personal favorite person on this earth. It was his birthday. However whilst trying to enjoy the performance, and tip the ladies a huge blob kept flopping in the way. And this huge blob had about four friends. And they were loud and they were annoying and the Chihuahua was running back and fourth in different colored thongs being all tiny and creepy and orange.

Then I looked to my left and of course, another huge fat blob was there. But that’s a whole other can of worms.

I looked at travis, and the huge negro elephant in front of me and back at travis and travis looked at me and the huge negro elephants three friends and back at me

“I can’t tell if I’m being thin or not right now.”

Via Facebook

12:12pm Me

I was not being thin yesterday at work

I was being quite the latter.

this big black bitch came in and took a fucking lifetime when it was like 8:56 and we close at 9

and she had a baby

and guess what its fucking name was

12:13pmTravis

what?

12:13pm Me

well

my manager asked and she said dineiro!

and my manager was like awwwwww

like robert dineiro?

and she said NO, LIKE MONEY

HIS NAME IS DINERO

LIKE MONEY

ERRYBADY SAYS LIKE ROBERT AND ITS NOT

IS LIKE MONEY.

2:36pm Me

ok well can you get a ride to krogers or something that would be key

but i can come get you.

i need to get off here i've been sitting with a facemask on for like 30 minutes and it said not to go over 10

XX

Henry David Thoreau-back.

I have decided I can not handle civilization or people anymore. I am moving to a farm in the middle of the woods and I will have animals for friends. To prepare I purchased canvases, paint, a sketchbook, a journal, and huck finn capris. I am going to stop wearing shoes and shaving. When I get my shit sorted out I will come out of hiding rocking a new sense of self and a gnarly beard. I will be posting updates on here about my journey to self fulfillment when I'm not finding myself and all that stuff.

-XY

White Slave Trade

So, if you spend any time reading this blog, you'd know I'm on a stripper kick lately.

So naturally, since fashion is a part of this whole sha-bang, and since its occupying most of my brain, here you have it.

XX: Chanel Bra, Best Buy Video Camera, Pin Up Clothing Shoes, Dumpster Seringe, Dior Lipstick Top Shop Thigh Highs

XY: Top Man Shoe, Pant, Blazer, Big Daddy's Liquor Cristal, Urban Outfitters Belt, Sunglasses

Dripped

As of late there have been a few songs I've heard and they just make me want to be a stripper.

When I hear them I just want to strip, and I have no idea how to even begin to dance sexy, but these songs make me want to.

1. Come Around- M.I.A. & Timbaland

In a faraway land we got shit made,
RayBan shades, warheads laid
babes born in air-raids
My girls roam the Everglades,
Indian tribesman gamble spades,
Indian chicks, they get men laid.
Milk and honey smoke high-grade,
gold and diamond gems and jades,
ride up on our tanks, invade ,
blow out things to save our name and,
Mina, Rina, Tina, Sophina
bein a super Indian babe
We black market we black mane
we hit shit out when it rains
Would you come down and catch my train?
Would you run down and play this game?

2. I Want You- Kings of Leon

Home-boy's so proud, finally got the video proof

The night vision shows she was only duckin' the truth

It's heavy I know, the black eye with the gift down below

A choke and a gag, she spit up and came back for more

She said I want you, just exactly like I used to

And baby this only bringin me down

She said I want you

3. Lover I Don't Have to Love- Bright Eyes

Bad actors with bad habits

Some sad singers they just play tragic

And the phone's ringing and the van's leaving

Let's just keep touching; let's just keep... keep singing...

I want a lover I don't have to love

I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk

Where's the kid with the chemicals?

I've got a hunger and I can't seem to get full

I need some meaning I can memorize

The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

4. Criminal- Fiona Apple

Oh help me but don't tell me to deny it

I've got to cleanse myself of all these lies 'till I'm good enough for him

I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high so I'm begging you

Before it ends just tell me where to begin

What I need is a good defense

'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal

And I need to be redeemed

To the one I've sinned against

Because he's all I ever knew of love

XX

be safe

Thanks Bro

“You know that when the bottom of the screen burns through that you’re just smoking aluminum foil.”

“You’re welcome teeth!”

“Yeah, thanks for all ya do for me! Here’s this!”

Travis reaches in the drawer and pulls out a new sheet of aluminum foil. Then we go on to argue about how how my facebook drama is so much better than his. But wait no his is better. Whatever faggot. We make a new screen for the bowl and head to the back porch.

We both sit, I make Travis check the bench for bugs as I always do. I won't sit if I think there are spiderwebs. He waves his arms around in the space where I'll be sitting, I call him my Shaman because it looks like he's blessing it. We get comfortable and then realize the lighter and cigarettes are both inside. Oh the struggle. Travis looks up at the night sky and gives a thumbs up,

"Thanks bro! Thanks for that!" I laugh cause I'm stoned and because it's ironic.

"Don't you just feel that way sometimes though, like every time that happens I just wanna be like, you thought I forgot you were there! But nope! There you are again! Throwin' me cute little curve balls!"

"Every time something bad happens, its just like a little cute punch on the shoulder from the big man upstairs. Like, oh! You're good, this guy! This guy right up there! He's a jokester!"

"It's like God's up there goin' Hey Girl! Every time."

XX

7213

Oh this is from a while ago, how I miss it:

“Well do you like beans?” Travis found a new tool to open beans with. “Oh. Oh my god I just got beaned. I just got beaned in the eye.” Its come to this. We’re so poor that we have run out of popcorn. I’ve never been so poor that I literally had only a can of beans left and was starving. Its such a cliché fuck you from god. Hit me again god.

Tonight has been more or less useless. We spent all day trying to figure out who we were going to hang out with and what we were going to do tonight and we ended up sitting in the living room in our underwear, I was making a list of reasons I’m going to hell and then Xtina came over and smoked a few bowls. Then she left. Then I drew pictures of naked people throwing up and bleeding and now we’re eating beans. At least sex and the city is on.